Too Much of Constant Pains, Minds Chaos, Emotions Up & Down

Hello? blog, sorry I haven't been in touch with you. Sometimes I don't want to write to you. Or lazy. Today's weather is so weird, but I LOVE it! I love snow. Yes, it, indeed, is snowing all day. I am wearing Bath & Body Works snow perfume. I LOVE IT!! It's out of stock. My mom gave it to me last weekend. I am hoping it is jinx to today's weather and yup, snow was here. I still want winter instead summer~ that is very strange because last year, I wanted summer to stay when the autumn approached. I am wearing snowman p.j.'s. Love love love!

Bad news about me~ Last Monday, I got in a bike accident that involves vehicle that hits me when I was pedaling. Fortunately, there is no broke bone in my body. I have so MANY of bruises on all over of my body. Yes, helmet is a MUST for me. It's like a seatbelt for bike. Who knows what happen if I don't wear it, but I don't want to think about it. I got hit on between 1000 west and rainbow road. A lady lives on the corner of Rainbow Rd, helped with me and driver. Yes the polices, firetruck, and ambulance did showed up. I got to the hospital by ambulance. It's my first time been in ambulance. I cried and cried because of pain on shoulder. At first, I thought it is broke but wasn't. My left shoulder muscle is torn up and it really painful! Yes, I went through with the Bear River Healthcare, insurances, and questions by the polices and doctors. Now I am sitting on a camo recliner sofa with strongest painkillers medicine. Derek took two days off from work to help with me. Derek was working double shifts on that day when he found out that I had accident and he immediately clock out to met me at the hospital. Sheri came and to be with us. My parents were in Twin Falls, Idaho for a little trip.

Yep, I can't knitting, because it is my knitting arm that got torn up. I just wanted to bike to count for my exercise.

For the bike riders~ WEAR THE DAMN HELMET! THAT SAVED MY LIFE! It's very important to wear helmet better than feeling stupid. Safe is the smartest than the feeling of stupidity.

I do know how the cyclist feel like after being hit by vehicle. OUCH, OWWIE....

That's all for now, I am tired from the pain constant 24/7.



Psst, wear. a. helmet. !!!!!!.

I Am In So Much Pain

I had root canal on upper tooth. Dentist accident caused it, how it happened?~ He put the filling too closer to the nerve. He said, oops. I am hoping he will omit some of the dentist bill. It is sooooo painful and annoying. I have oxy and tramadol HCL medicines. I prefer oxy, but he won't let me get another one so he got me tramadol HCL medicine. It is not really working for the pain. I only have 2 oxy left. So I will take it after tramadol is fading away from my system.

I have been playing with it and it caused more hurt but it is so annoying. When I bite, it hurts but really needs to bite to relief the pressure the teeth. I have been eating soft food~ great harvest pumpkin bread, yogurt, cuties oranges, I think that is it.

Anyway, I am knitting the Clue 3 of Creatrix shawl that was just released last night of Clue 3 pattern. I made a few times of mistake due to the pain of my tooth. I had a hard time to stay concentrate. So I put it away and walked away. This morning, I was able to have some of focus and fixed the mistake in shawl. I need to be more carefully with this garter lace, it is really confuse stitches. So pay extra closer attention, Jenna!

So that's it for now. Painful is unbearable for me right now. And I am knitting super slow.

Spring Break

Our spring break is good. We didn't go out for vacation. We were supposed to go to St. George, but we canceled due to finance reason. We went to Bountiful for my cousin's wedding (Lindsey Evans Rice). One thing I learned about her younger age (toddler to child) is, she ate only white foods: white rice, white potato, white bread, white ice cream, you named it~ everything is must to be white color. Her dad, John, said you need to marry rice, because she was always ate rice. She married a guy that has last name is Rice. I told Derek that is so ironic! Maybe John jinxed it. I think that is pretty funny. We did stayed at hotel~ Country Inn~ our room door key is dead. The cards won't work, we had to asked the front desk to opened for us every time we returned to our room. Yes, the front desk did asked us if we want to transfer to different room, I said no because I wanted a king bed and the kids are in the another room with couch that has folded bed inside. Also I like the window, because I can opened it to full open than second and third floors windows for safety reason. So the front desk gave us discounted price for our staying due to the dead battery key card insert. I am happy about that. It was cost us $185 but we got $150~ $35 off.

I started MKAL (mystery knit a long) for Creatrix shawl with everyone on the ravelry group. I am now on Clue 2.

Here is my picture of Clue 2 of Creatrix MKAL. I used pink highlight marker to cross off the row that I have been worked on. I hate post-it. It is indeed work out my brain. I have to be too carefully to read the chart and written instructions. I can't knit when I am tired or I will get a lot of mistakes. I don't want to risk that. I am not in rush now.

I just ordered this bag from Laura Nelkin. Because why not. Why, yes I am obsessed with her. Everyone have their own fans.

PS, President Trump just approved for to bomb to Syria country because of the chemical that killed the children. I was shocking about that. I don't against that because I am living in America. I can't do anything with it. But one thing I am hoping that we don't have WW3. I am too young, still.

I Don't Really Like "Typo"...

Knitting~ I always had misread, count how many stitches and rows with error, sometimes pattern do have an error that needs to be corrected, and oops knit into the wrong stitch or drop a stitch off of needle.

I had a few "fought" with my currently project because I was tired or not really pay closer attention. It is lace knitting, too thin yarn, easily into mistake. But it is fun. I am now working on center connector then I will begin at edge part after this connector. I am excited for beads too.

Lately, I was in mood for winter to stay so I can knit and watch Netflix~ THAT is so wrong! You dummy, brain. It's spring for god's sake!

I need to go and finish this project before April 1st for new project with the group of knitters~ that's call: Mystery Knit A Long. We knit something that we don't know what we are knitting into until we get it done then we will know what it is. It actually fun. This is my second MKAL. I am planning to sign up for the M Club this fall when it register opens. I should have sign up last fall, oh well.

PS, I have more than 3 mosquito bites. *itches all over my body* I took a hot bath with oils to help calm down my itching body. I am blaming on the kids, because they kept door opened for a long period of time and the mosquitoes got in.

I am going to knit for a while before I go to bed. I just can't stop! Happy knitting for me!

It Is Not Early, Is It?

Spring is HERE! Squee! Finally, I can able do to exercise outdoor than bored indoor for a long time. I love to see animals are coming out of their caves, the tree leafs are growing back, daylight is getting longer, and sun is getting brighter. I am too happy to see the chicken (3 blacks and one white) in horse field by the horses. Farm markets are coming back. Everything is coming back from their sleeping zone.

Wyatt got a plant cabbage from his class, so we planted right away in our front yard. My backyard is not great for garden place. So I am hoping this will growing like it should be. My tulips flowers are out and blooming.

Today, I went to Logan River Trail for my walk, I walked and jogged for 2 miles. I haven't been jogging for long, long, and LONGER time! It felt so good! I am looking forward to hike more trails in cache county. I can't wait for pool to open!

Spring is bringing me much of alive and happier from so tired and dark in winter season. But one thing I will miss~ plenty more time knitting and netflix movies. But we need to play outdoor.

I am knitting bamboo shawl, feel like spring shawl because it is so thin lace yarn weight. It is pretty purple color, not too dark, nor brighter color.

Happy spring and go outside and PLAY!

Proof Of Life

Since from beginning of March, I became totally obsessed about Laura Nelkin patterns. I have tons following knitters in the world that I am their fan. Today, it is Laura Nelkin that I am obsessing about.  I decided a few days after I read about her MKAL(Mystery Knit A Long) for April project. I was planning not to join this time, but somehow my mind shifted and wanted to knit this MKAL. I was hesitating at first place. After I read thread on forum in my ravelry, so I purchased a pattern for MKAL. I went downstairs to my basement and looked for yarns that will be right for this project. Turned it out that none of my stash boxes of yarns are not right type for this. I was little grumpy and considered to quit, but I couldn't because I am so obsessed. So I ignore and went ahead and ordered the yarns and beads from Jimmy Beans Wool online. I wanted light colors, not dark like winter colors. I was lucky, because it was two yarns in stock of that aster color, now it is out of stock. The beads are crystal clear silver lined Miyuki 6/0~ 20 grams and 8/0~ 100 grams beads, I was shocked to see it is 100 grams of 8/0 beads! Normally for general, it is 10-20 grams of 8/0. I needed 20 grams of 6/0 and 65 grams of 8/0. I love to have a lot of beads, especially 100 grams! Whoo!

Oh shit! There is flood in the bathroom, I gotta go. What a joy of being adulthood. (It was clogged from Emma's)

Anyway, I am back.

I have Facebook and instagram accounts. They are great to talk to any people over in the world. For example, I would never be known about Laura Nelkin if we don't have this internet, phone, etc like in 1800's. Also I do have a hard time to believe that Laura is real, not robot on internet. She is over there in eastern of US. I see my friends, family over and over on Facebook and instagram that is real so yes Laura is real on the other side of US. I am really happy that she exists or her design patterns would not be here. So do Ravelry too. In 1990's, there were no knitting online, only book publishers. There wasn't any online classes. You can't find more patterns than present time. I am really happy Ravelry is existing. It's MUCH easier with knitting life~ classes, yarns suggest, pattern, chat room, help tutorials, etc. I started to knit in 2009, ravelry opened in 2007, two years after. It like you can see, read, shop, classes, map, vacation, events, news, etc on Facebook. It is same with ravelry.

Right now I am working on Synthesis shawl, designed by Laura Nelkin. I finished knit a swatch for gauge for MKAL, it is now drying on block mat in basement. One great thing is basement~ the kids and future pets are not allow going in basement, so all of my workings are "protecting" from them.

PS, I created a memories book~ chatbook. You can look up on Facebook. It's so great! It only costs us $8 per book. I don't do scrapbook. I rather to knit than scrapbook.

The Hand Of Dentisy

Some day is hard to write blog, because I don't know what to say. Today is hard day. The kids' school was half day, they are out at noon. I don't have any clue why it is half day at school today. The kids are having meltdown when we got home from Smith's grocery store for food. They act like they are toddlers. Derek and I had headache because of them. They weren't good behavior in the store. They continued to be whine for the rest of afternoon. So Derek and I had enough so he went upstairs to get the medicines (sleep medicines) to calmed them down. So they, included Derek, took the naps. I was watching The Crown.

Being an adulthood and a parenthood is so HARD! I read the news stated that the house price and interest are rising. The grocery is also rising price. $100 is not enough food to cover for two weeks. Utah is becoming California. I can't make dinner everyday because the ingredients are so expensive to make a menu for one dinner. The kids are keeping hungry and hungry. I had a breakdown because of that. It is just unfair for human on the earth. We are stuck on the earth, we live here on the earth. That means we are suppose to be free of living, like the wild animals.

So I am knitting Lola's Choice fingerless mitts with the beads. One is down and one more to go. Knitting and Netflix are only to keeping me calm down with the chaos.

Hands~ we are work hard on the earth for the livings. It's not easy. One thing is so hard is restaurant, (Chuck-a-Rama) because I love it. I don't usually eat fast food restaurants. Only the real food like Chuck-a-Rama, their rolls are so damn good!

*sighs* but that is life. I am just glad that knitting and Netflix are existing. I don't know what to do without them.

Blur

All is blur right now. I got the new heavier drawers for my kitchen. The original was too cheap and break. One problem is~ we had a hard time to put the original pull handles on the new ones. Also we need to buy the long wheel for drawers to pull out. The original are shorter.

I finished two projects today. Purple owl hat for Emma. Emma was happy when I told her that I finished it.  Crochet beads necklace~ I prefer bracelet than necklace because it is too long to crochet with so fine yarn, my pinky finger is sores. So I will only make bracelet than necklace.

Knitting blur~ I still will have to knit one more of long strip of wrap by Kirsten Omdhal. It's 132 stitches cross rows. I really want to knit something new. I got a mail from Laura~ Lola's Choice yesterday. I love the surprised is what is inside of this mail that she mailed to her fan member knitters (I am one of them 😃).  I was just started knitting a swatch for to obtain the gauge called for in project. I picked fingerless mitts. Since it has a short yardage of yarn. I think that weird to have the beads on the socks. So mitts is better choice for me. But still want to find something fun easy to knit and watching Netflix. I am currently watching The Crown.

Food blur~ I really crave for Chuck-a-Rama, their rolls. Yummy. I love the way of homemade rolls that like pioneer made. I love 1800s food. Chuck-a-Rama is my favorite restaurant right now. I don't like fast food restaurants anymore, too cheap, and too oily. I am still on weight loss so far. I have nutruifood box to help me to lose some of weight. I am hoping to achieve the goal of 110 lbs.

Money blur~ You know money- we have to pay the bills for life. Boo! I just really want to go to Bora Bora or Hawaii or Caribbean islands. But nope, we have to pay our mortgage. I really need some of money to buy the stuffs for house projects~ like drawers above. We are getting our roof replace sooner. Our shingles are blew away off of our roof. It is really bad damaged roof right now. Oh what a joy of being an adulthood.

OK, I don't want to feel anymore of blurs, so I am going to watch The Crown to calm my mind and try to find something to knit.  

The Hardest Part Is: Attitude

When I read Yarnharlot blog today, as for me being deaf person~ I can't go to the retreat in Washington to be with the knitters and in the classes. This is cost about $1,500.00 per person. I can't afford for an interpreter! I did asked them for an interpreter, they don't answer me back that which it is hurtful. I don't know what to do. I have been always hate being DA person~ deaf. I hate it! When I was a little girl, I cried and cried and begged my parents for fix my ears so I can hear it. So the doctors said that it's won't working on me because I am so heavy die-hard deaf. I asked my parents why am I deaf? Why didn't Justin nor Jake become deaf?!? They don't know why. I was just born that way. If I were never deaf, I will never have met my husband. Being hearing would be MUCH easier life. It's so hard, I have to rely on my kids for the noise. I am nervous about my future when the kids are move out of my house. So I am hoping that the pet(s) will help me in the future. And one another is: I really want to go to Rhinebeck in upstate New York for wool festival fair. But who will interpreter for me and my husband? Yeah, that. I could take my daughter with me for this retreat and fairs so she can interpreter for me, maybe? Some of the people said: You can do it. You can do anything like hearing people do. For me, yeah right! Examples? You betcha. A pilot? An operator? An interpreter? Be secretary for President of United State? An army? Be teacher? An actress? A train driver? Taxi driver? Be CEO? A doctor? A dentist? You name it! I did wanted to be a teacher for elementary school (No, not for deaf schools, you see them almost everywhere, even in deaf community) that closer to my house. These above of the lists that are requirement to use headset, voice to talk, use telephone, etc that what deaf people CANNOT do! Some of the people said to me: You are so lucky, You are blessing, something like that~ No, I am not lucky person. I can't do what hearing people do. Get reality, you guys! (I am afraid of the polices, they usually yell at you and I couldn't hear it then they will shoot at me and I die!) There you go, that's why I don't social, party, go out in the city. That's why I REFUSE to get a job. I prefer to stay home. Etsy is good small job for me. So that one way how I got depression in my life.

What about family? Well, that is hard too. When I want to be involved, I always tap, tap, tap harder at my parents' shoulders to interpret for me. Sometimes they said no. Even in the theatre. I stopped go to the theatre a long time ago. So that how I started to knitting in my life when I am in full of hearing people around me. Derek's mother hates me when I do that, she said that it's not nice in front of her when we have family party or something like that. It's hurt me because she DOESN'T know how to be deaf and never has been in my shoes life. So I ignored her and go on knitting.

What about deaf community? Well, sometimes I wanted to met the new friends that are live closer to me than drive 100 miles away just for two hours party. Examples? You betcha. A short moment of chat with a stranger person in store, talk to the neighbors, talk to the companies who fixed my house, you name it. Sometimes I don't want to talk to the deaf people because they changed, they move, bad gossips/news, etc. I even don't have a best friend(always talk to each other everyday, always help each other, rely on each other, etc.)

What about my husband, Derek? Haha, I fucking LOVE him! That's one reason why I wanted to marry a deaf man so he knows how I feel. Both of us know who are our deaf friends/people and deaf community. Marrying him is the BEST thing of my life. Examples? You betcha. I don't have to be left out if he is hearing and talking to the people, go to the theatre, I make a lot of noises in the house, I don't want him to hear my farts, hear the music, talk to the stranger people in the store, I hate one simple sentence what hearing people talk about like they talk for 15 minutes~ one simple sentence is not 15 minutes worth of talk. I hate summary stories at the campfire, party, theatre, etc.

There you go. It's not easy, simple life. (I couldn't hear a fire alarm and carbon monoxide alarm, door ring bell, telephone rings, oven dings, laundry dings, my kids turned so higher volume on the TV up to 80 volume number~ that's loud and I was embarrassed front of the neighbors, yes they can hear from it)

It's so hard part of is attitude in the lifehood. I have to put a fake smile on my face for public and always said "I'm fine".

I am thankful for knitting that is existing and in my life.

No, I didn't finish a purple owl hat for Emma. Wrap is still in processing.

Feel Like Forever

Well, finally it is March~ spring month. I am so excited for spring upcoming. I was surprised that last January was not bad month. I usually have cabin fever, more depression, longer/darker in January/February. February was not bad month either until last week of February that I want March to be here. My purpose is for spring season to arrives. Now March is here. I feel really~finally move on with time when March came than in January and February. It always happens after Christmas. I hate longer, desperate, darker days. But one pro is~ more time of knitting and catch up on Netflix.

I started to knitting the kids' hats last month. I think I did mentioned this in earlier post Danielle Beer's daughter~ I gave a pink cat hat to her, because it is fitting her as longer as she is still toddler. I bought a purple owl a few days ago and I started it now~ you know, spring is upcoming this very sooner!

I finished Tool Box Cowl in two days ago. Right now, it is drying on the mesh blocker hanger. I love that blocker. I am so glad this project is so done! I don't want to see color~ orange again~ it's remind me of fall color. I want Easter colors.

Currently project~ Summit American Yak Wrap. I am using Frog Tree Alpaca Sport yarn. I did had high screamed recently after I found out that this yarn is discontinued! So I did looked and looked harder to find two more of those tan colors to just the amount of yards for this project. Whew, I did ordered it and they arrived at my mailbox. It came from Nebraska. My local yarn shop used to have them that where I did bought a while ago. They no longer stock these yarn up due to discontinued. I love that yarn. Hello! It's alpaca! So soft yarn.

Ok, I need to go back to work~ knitting and laundry.

Less Time To Write My Blog

I noticed that I am less and less to write my blog. I am using Instagram/Facebook mostly time. I can make a memories books from Instagram. I like to have something in my hand than online. The pictures are worth more than a thousand words. The pictures are just showing you than I have to write down to get visionary in your mind. I wanted to have a private blog, because blog is like a journal for personal, not for business. Blogger started a long time ago in 2000's. It is now 2017 with the new upgrades everything different than back in 2000. Sometimes the blog is confusing me with the new updates in internet~I am used to the first old ones than upgrade up over and over again. I know where to go with the pages, layout, link, etc but now I had a hard time to find, so I had to played around with my new upgrade blog to find where or which to click on.

Reeses~guinea pig~ is still much alive. When I hold her, I was trying to put her down on the floor to "exercise" around, because her home is box with no space to run. She LOVES home, every time I put her back to her home, she instant jumps off from me. Sometimes we forgot to close up her gate's door, I was surprised to see that she is still there. She never escapes. This is her 5th year life time. This year is probably her last year of her life time. She has a few lumps on her, she is getting older and older.

Knitting~ I am knitting Top This! Hat for the kids. The pink cat hat is too small for Emma, it's short length of cap. I am going to make another purple owl hat for Emma with the correct length of her age. I am currently knitting green elephant hat for Wyatt. I didn't finish the Tool Box cowl, I am trying to get finish before I start a new project. I already started to knit a gauge for next new project. But I want to get the another projects to finish first.

Beads~ I am crocheting the beads crochet necklace. I am obsessed with the beads. I love to watch this video here. I don't crochet. But this one I accepted, because it is hidden stitches with the beads. I love the feeling of the beads on rope.

Winter 2016/2017 wasn't that bad than I thought it will be. January is always depression month for me. Knitting and Netflix are so helpful and keep me company! I am catching up the movies. (Summer has no time for the movies~ DUH summer!) The weather is WORSE ever in the history! The snow was in waist length. We had a hard time to pull back our car out from garage because of the snow on the curve part. Snow~ A LOT! Yes, we did have flooding in Cache Valley. My basement had a small flooded. I panicked! Thank God for Derek's work schedule that he off from work. It was scary. It is not easy to be adulthood of own a house. I told Derek that we live in with parents will be very much easy life. He said fuck yes! But it is our turn. I miss my childhood. Growing up is trapping! We had so much of icicles on our roof, we had to break them often. One of our roof's shingle came off. I want spring to be here. I noticed that I don't love winter anymore. In my childhood is different than now I am. I love spring and summer.

Hello, 2015.. Wait, No- It is already 2017!

2017, huh?!? I am still thinking it is 2015. 2016 went so faster than before. Like the beginning of the top slide down to the end of bumpy slide. I did remembered when the spring was sprung- I was so excited that summer is coming. It came and gone in 2 days of blink eyes. But so far, I am good lately~ I always have January Blue. I am hoping this month I don't have bad blue like usually. I am planning on to watch the movies to catch up on netflix and knitting. Plus, of course, clean the house and exercising too. Yesterday, I was thought it was saturday, anyway we went to the park for the sled hill down. It was fun. I went on too! I want to! Why not? It was good panting work-out for me. Two years ago, I couldn't do it. I went on for 2 shed down, but yesterday I went on more than 5 times! I am improving.

Our christmas was okayest, We didn't went to my parents' house due to badly snowing outside on christmas day. We got white christmas! We went to Derek's parents' christmas party: let me tell you~ It is f*&%ing worse christmas ever I had! Derek's oldest brother blamed on us for the lousy gift for his teenager son. I made very best of points at him about the christmas. He did see that now. So I told Derek, we are NOT going for his family christmas party! We are GOING to my, MINE, me family party for christmas of 2017. I am not buying the presents for Derek's families. Only mine. (Derek's family are so rude, judgey, mean at us because his mother told at our faces (!!!) that we are cheapsake) I had enough of this! I told Derek that I married you, not for your family. Only you! He knows that I don't like his family since I met them. It was hard and it is still hardest!

Anyway, I got apple watch series 2!! Wyatt got more Nerf guns toy, Emma got more dolls, Derek got soap kit and more *&%$# tools (from his family).

Ok, that is it for now.

Happy 2017.